Kids Say The Darndest Things: 9 Hilarious Quotes From Kids
Oh to to be young, bold, and blissfully unaware. I’m here to give you a good laugh and recall some of the hilarious conversations I’ve had kids while entertaining as a mermaid.
1. How do you pee?
Me: Wow! Rude, I don’t ask you how you go to the bathroom!
Kid: I use a toilet
Me: Thank you for sharing….so what’s your favorite animal??
2. What do you do for work?
Me: You’ve really thought about this in advance didn’t you? Haha I clean the ocean and sometimes I direct whale traffic
Kid: Whales are cool
Me: They’re the coolest
3. Do you have a mom?
Me: Yes I do
Kid: Are they a mermaid too?
Me: Yes
4. Can you talk underwater?
Me: Yeah, of course!
Kid: Prove it! ** dives underwater **
Me: ** also dives underwater and screams ** Hello! Can you hear me?
Kid: ** surfaces ** AHHH I HEARD YOU!! YOU CAN TALK UNDERWATER!!
Me ** surfaces ** AHHH ARE YOU PART MERMAID?
Kid: I DON’T THINK SO?!?!? ** confused, excited, shocked **
Me: Hmmm you might want to ask your parents
Kid ** gets out of pool, runs to parents **
5. Do sharks try to eat you?
Me: No silly, we’re friends
Kid: Why?
Me: Why Not?
Kid: ….
6. Can you walk?
Me: ** looks down ** nope.. I’m stuck here
Kid: Why?
Me: I don’t have legs!
7. How did you get here?
Me: See that human over there? They carried me in!
Kid: Why?
Me: So I could come see you!
8. Do you have any pets?
Me: Yep! I have a pet seahorse
Kid: What’s their name?
Me: His name is Triton and I should probably go home soon and feed him lunch
Kid: Don’t leave yet, can’t someone else feed him lunch?!?
Me: Nope I forgot my shell-phone so I need to go home and take care of him
9. Are you real?
Me: I’m real, are you real? ** gentle poke **
Kid: Of coarse I’m real!!
Me: ** shrugs and smiles ** just checking
Do you have mermaid questions too? I’m here to help!